Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Nasty Thing in the Corner, Part Two

Wow, that’s a lot of comments! Thank you for your supportive words.

And thank you also to those who took the time to post their dissents. Allow me to respond to a few:

To “A Teen Librarian”: I agree that teens should not have to pay for the political battles of their elders. But they do, every day, in more ways than I can count. I wish I could have figured out a way to attend TLF without hating myself for doing so, but I could not.

To “Paul”: I understand what you are saying and I respect your point of view, although I disagree. BTW, I have deleted no posts here—your insinuation is gratuitous.

To “Nate”: You are technically correct about my misuse of the term “censorship.” My use of the term is deliberate. We all know that the “uninviting” of Ellen H. was not literally censorship. It would be more accurate to say it was “the active suppression of an author to discourage teens from reading her books.” (Can we find an acronym in that? Wait a sec…okay, how about Activist School Suppression of Hopkins’ Access to Teens. I’m sure there’s an acronym in there someplace!) In any case, elephant or mastodon, it’s still a pachyderm. We all know what we're talking about. They may not have literally “censored” Ellen Hopkins, but their actions point to a similar intent.

To “Whoa Nelly”: First, I love your handle. And you are right in what you say, however, I believe that each of us has a point at which we must say, “Whoa, Nelly! I’ve had enough! I have run out of cheeks to turn! It’s time for some melodrama!” I reached that point last week.

Hey, I’m not sure, but I think the Thing in the Corner got a little smaller today!

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Nasty Thing in the Corner

I don’t often talk about censorship for much the same reason I don’t often talk about creationism, dog fighting, or Rush Limbaugh. Despite a lifetime of contrary evidence, there is still a part of me that believes that if you ignore that nasty thing squatting in the corner of the room, it will go away.

It does not go away.

Last week I received an email from wildly-popular YA author Ellen Hopkins (Crank, Impulse) letting me know that she had been “uninvited” to the 2011 Teen Lit Fest in Humble, Texas. Ellen made it clear that she was majorly pissed-off about it.

The biennial Teen Lit Fest (TLF) in Humble (a suburb of Houston) has become one of the premier teen literature festivals in the country. By all accounts, it is a friendly, well-organized event where teens can meet their favorite authors, and authors can connect with their teen readers. The high school and middle school librarians behind the event are a passionate and dedicated group with a deep love of teen literature.

Events like TLF are one of the best ways to encourage reading in teens, and they are important to authors as a way to get exposure for their books. When I was invited to be one of the featured authors at TLF 2011, and offered a generous honorarium to do so, I was thrilled.

Then I got that email from Ellen.

Censorship of children’s literature can take many forms. In its most blatant incarnation, books are removed from classrooms and libraries. Thankfully, this does not happen often. But there are more insidious forms of censorship.

In Ellen Hopkins’ case, she was invited to TLF, she accepted…and then, a few months later, the invitation was rescinded. Apparently, “several” parents were disturbed by the content of Ellen’s books, and objected to having her at the festival. They brought their concerns to the festival organizers, and one (one!) school librarian agreed with their concerns, and recommended to the school superintendent that Ellen be asked not to come. The superintendent went along with the one (one!) librarian’s recommendation. I believe that virtually every other librarian in the Humble ISD was embarrassed and furious over this decision.

Although Ellen might understandably take this matter very personally, it really has nothing whatsoever to do with the content or quality of her work. Whether she writes well or responsibly is immaterial. I wrote a post a couple of years ago addressing that issue.

What is important is that a handful of people – the superintendent, the one (one!) librarian, and “several” (three? five?) parents – took it upon themselves to overrule the vast majority of teachers and librarians and students who had chosen one of the most popular YA authors in America to be their headliner.

That is a form of censorship as damaging and inexcusable as setting fire to a library.

Over the past fifteen years of visiting schools and libraries I have been “uninvited” on two occasions. It is a terrible thing to be told by educators that your life’s work is “inappropriate” for its intended audience. In both cases, I did nothing. I didn’t want to further embarrass the librarians who had invited me - they were already mortified. I just wanted to leave a sour experience behind and get on with the next thing.

I now believe that was a mistake. The political and philosophical problem of censorship, in all its forms, harms all of us, and each of us has a responsibility to fight it. I cannot help but think that those same people who objected to Ellen Hopkins’ work might find some of my books equally disturbing.

And you know what’s really scary? Here is how the Humble ISD superintendent responded to a letter from one of the librarians who objected to his decision:

“…there are more authors that we would want at our Teen Lit Fest than we could ever have enough Teen Lit Fests to accommodate.”

Apparently he subscribes to the commodities model of educating our children. Creeps me out something fierce.

A few years ago, at a National Book Awards banquet, I met Judy Blume. She had just delivered a passionate speech about censorship. I joked, “Hey Judy, how do I get MY books challenged? I think it would be good for sales.” Judy was not amused. She looked at me and said, in a voice as dry as ash, “It will happen, and you will not like it.” She was right on both counts.

And so, as one of the other participating authors, I felt that the right thing to do was to withdraw from the festival, and so I did.

At least one of the other authors, Melissa de la Cruz, has also withdrawn from the festival. I don’t yet know about the other five.*

This whole business makes me sad. There are, I don’t know, maybe a hundred thousand or more good people in the Humble school district. They should be mad as hell, every one of them.

*UPDATE (8/16): Tara Lynn Childs has also withdrawn from the festival.

UPDATE (8/17): Matt de la Pena has withdrawn.

UPDATE: Festival canceled. Very sad.

UPDATE: I have decided to give up writing to become an actor. Click here for a sample.

The illustration above was created in five minutes on my iPad using a really cool little app called Brushes.

Friday, August 13, 2010

BLANK CONFESSION

I just watched the rough cuts of the BLANK CONFESSION videos. Philip Seymour Hoffman, you have nothing to fear!
Not even Keanu Reeves needs to worry.
Fortunately, I'm working with professionals whose job it is to make me look good. I'll be posting the first video in late August.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Sweetblood Trailer

Just in time for the reissue of Sweetblood, here's an impressive trailer I ran across on YouTube. Nice job, Margo!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Beware of Falling Rocks

Yeah, I know, I wrote RASH five years ago - but I'm still on that pulpit poking fun at how overprotective of our children (and of ourselves) we have become. Recently, I have been discovering that I am not alone. Here's an opinion piece from Forbes, commenting on (among other things) a school that ordered some specimen rocks from a scientific supply company, then decided it was too dangerous for their geology students to handle actual rocks.
They will now be learning about rock types from a poster.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Action!

We're shooting a video tomorrow. Three of them - a sort of mini-trilogy. Think "Lord of the Rings" in 180 seconds. Here are a few of the props.
The stun gun is an antique, but I assure you it delivers a reliable 40,000 volts. Ouch.
Look for it on YouTube in August.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Chanterellicious

This has been an amazing year for chanterelles in southern Minnesota. My brother Bob and I picked about ten pounds the other day. Here is a small portion of our find:

Too many to eat, so I cooked a bunch down and froze them for future consumption.

I also put some up in Everclear. After a week or so I’ll strain the liquid into a pretty aperitif bottle and have a fabulous chanterelle-flavored aquavit—good for judicious sipping, or to deglaze a steak pan.

Chanterelles are a member of what I call the Four Fabulous Feral Fungi. (The other three are morels, porcini, and truffles.) The flavor of fresh chanterelles is intense, wonderful, and entirely unlike any other mushroom. Some people say they taste like apricots. I think those people are overly influenced by the color. Although they do have a fruity quality, the flavor is not apricot, IMHO. It’s…chanterelly.

But then, just yesterday, I bought some “white-fleshed peaches” at Cub Foods because they were on sale. I tasted one last night and it tasted exactly like a chanterelle. To quote my friend Dougie Hanson, “I find that very strange indeed.” I've had white-fleshed peaches before, but not the chanterelle-flavored variety.

Here is my favorite chanterelle recipe. It’s always fantastic. The basic idea came from Bill Buford’s book Heat. This recipe is remarkably protean—every single ingredient (even the chanterelles) is amenable to substitution or elimination. I've made variations that include smoked hog jowl, salmon, ramps, chipotles, and various cheeses. You might even want to try adding a little sweet sherry or port. But first try this basic, no-frills version.

Chanterelles with Pasta

Ingredients:

1 pound fresh chanterelles*

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves**

¼ cup finely minced shallots

2 tablespoons butter

¼ cup heavy cream (optional)***

¾ pound farfalle (bowtie) or a similar quantity of other pasta****

¼ cup finely chopped parsley leaves (or you could use peas. You want something green.)

Cooking directions:

If chanterelles are large, slice them lengthwise into halves, or quarters if they are ginormous. Keep in mind that they will cook down to less than half their size.

Heat salted water in a large pot for cooking pasta.

Heat a large (12 inch+) saute pan. Let it get smoking hot.

Add olive oil, wait a few seconds, then add chanterelles to the pan. Cook on high heat (stirring no more than once or twice) for six or seven minutes, or until the mushrooms release their water and start to brown.

Add thyme and shallots. Cook for 2 minutes.

Stir in butter. Turn off heat and set aside.

Add pasta to boiling water and cook for two minutes less than you think it needs.

Drain pasta and add to the mushrooms in saute pan. Turn heat up to high. Stir in cream and cook over high heat two or three minutes, or until the sauce thickens and coats the pasta.

Garnish with minced parsley.

For those who insist on putting cheese on absolutely everything, serve with grated parmesan reggiano or hard cheese of your choice.

* DO NOT substitute dried chanterelles. Just don't. Trust me.

** It pains me to pay three or four bucks for those little packages of fresh herbs at the grocery store, so I don’t. Except for thyme. A package of fresh thyme goes a long way, it lasts for weeks in the crisper, and it is SO good.

*** If you want to skip the cream (I usually do), save a bit of the pasta water and use that to thin the sauce

**** The quirkily formal shape of farfalle, or bow-tie pasta, visually complements the chanterelles, but I find fresh fettucini to be more texturally appealing. Your call.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Variations on a Theme

There was little apparent expression in her bland features, although a practiced observer such as Elwood, had he been watching, might have said that her eyes, nose and mouth all got a tad closer together. -- from "Cardboard Coffins"
iPulp Fiction is a cool web publisher that offers short genre fiction suitable for reading on your iPad, Kindle, smartphone, computer, or other e-reader. They just released a collection of three of my early short stories: "The Death Angels," "Cardboard Coffins," and "The Guy." The theme, in this case, is women who are driven to homicide by the misbehaving men in their lives.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

When I don't blog for a while...

...you may assume that I am writing. Most recently, I have been deeply immersed in a SF/time travel trilogy with a back story so freaking complicated that I sometimes fear I’m about to pop a vessel. I should have known better—the last time travel book I wrote (Mr. Was) just about did me in. I swore I would never mess with time travel again. But then I got this idea, and I found myself thinking, Okay, just a leetle beet, just a taste, just a peek…

Next thing I know I’m at 100,000 words and counting, and the strangeness of the book is spilling into my “real” life, like, for example, I find myself at Costco hanging onto a shopping cart full of pineapples, and I can’t remember why I am there, and where did all the pineapples come from?. So I say, channeling Dr. McCoy, “What planet is this?”

I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but this woman turns her head and looked at me.

“You have my cart,” she says.

I take my hands off her cart.

“Oh, good,” I say. “I was afraid it was mine. I don’t even really like pineapples.” I look around confusedly. “I wonder where my cart went.”

“Probably where you left it,” she says, quoting my mother.

She starts pushing her cart full of pineapples away, then turns back to me and says, “By the way, this is Earth.”

“Thank you,” I say, thinking that if she had one eye sewn shut, a metal leg, and futuristic marital arts skills, I could use her on the Cydonian Pyramid of the Lah Sept. And that if this were Costco in the year 2162, I could maybe buy a flying car. And how odd it seems that until recently cigarette smoking was permitted in nearly every compartment of a nuclear submarine, and how you can get a really good deal on athletic socks at Costco if you want to own twenty-four pair, and what did I come here for, anyway?

I never did find my cart, or remember why I had gone to Costco, but I bought a giant package of toilet paper because I knew it was something we would use eventually, then I drove home and traveled to the year 2560, when the Boggsians will develop a non-digital technology that permits post-corporeal consciousness, and the Lah Sept dynasty will finally collapse under the insupportable weight of its own tenets.

The working title of the trilogy is The Klathu Diskos. The first volume will be published by Candlewick in 2012. If you had a time machine you could read it right now.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Crunchy!

Here's the preliminary cover design for The Big Crunch. Coming in January.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Would your monkey object to a body scan?

How do I love thee, TSA? Let me count the ways.
Umm...One: Because they must deal with Service Monkeys (scroll down for monkey business).

Monday, March 22, 2010

Council Bluffs

Here's a photo of me and Teen Services maven Anna Hartman standing in front of a golden mummy. Ever see that movie "Bucket of Blood?" It's about a sculptor who finds success by murdering people and covering their bodies with a thin layer of plaster. It made a big impression on me when I was ten years old. Anyway, as I was delivering my talk in Council Bluffs a few weeks ago, the golden mummy stood silently at my back the entire time, and I kept thinking about that movie, and how the thing at my back might be a deceased librarian preserved by a shell of gold leaf. If you ever visit the teen area at the Council Bluffs Public Library, check it out!

Friday, March 19, 2010

The Results Are In

I fasted for 48 hours, consulted my oracles, asked my Magic 8-Ball for guidance, and viewed the entries several times each on my imaginary 60-inch hi-def plasma monitor. How to choose, how to choose. The two front-runnners, Angel and Subhan, have submitted How to Steal a Car videos of excellent quality, especially considering that they were produced at the last possible minute and without the aid of a munitions expert. How do you make a movie without explosions? Imagine if "Hurt Locker" had no bombs! I tell you, it boggles the mind. Still, they succeeded.
The winner of first prize (a complete set of Pete Hautman YA books) is...
Congratulations, Subhan!
As for the second prize (a $50 gift certificate for the most YouTube views by 3/31/10), Subhan has a daunting lead. (Angel, you must mobilize your relatives, friends, and classmates! I'm pulling for you!)
I will need a physical mailing addresses from both of you (Angel, even if you don't win the YouTube part of the contest, I'd like to send you a couple of books.). Contact me by email, please.
Congratulations to both of you!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The HOW TO STEAL A CAR Video Contest Deadline...

...has come and gone, and we have two fabulous last-minute entries.
This video, from angel51654, features the philosophical reflections of a happy looking car thief being manipulated by a disembodied blue arm.
Nice job, angel!
The second entry, from subhantopsy, is an energetic and funny review that reminds me a little bit of John Green's video posts.
Alas, Subhan is an honest-to-a-fault fellow who gives How to Steal a Car a rating of only 7.5. Subhan, don't you know that you're supposed to suck up to the contest judge? Just kidding. I love it.
I am going to ponder these two Academy Award worthy efforts for a few days before choosing the first prize (a complete set of ten signed YA books) winner. Meanwhile, the battle for second prize continues - whichever contestant gets the most views on YouTube by the end of this month will win a $50 gift certificate to a bookstore. Good luck, guys!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Titles

Usually I know the title of a book long before I finish it, but sometimes my publisher thinks my original title sucks, and asks me to change it. This is somewhat like if you raised a kid and, the day before he is supposed to go to kindergarten, the school calls and says, "What were you thinking when you named your kid 'Irving?' We think if he were named 'Tyler' he would have a better chance of making it into the first grade." And you say to yourself, "Hmm. Irving is a sucky name, but me and Irving...well, we've kinda gotten used to it..."
Okay, so I wrote this book. It's a love story, and as I've mentioned before, it's a love story in which nothing happens - meaning there are no vampires, ghosts, deaths, guns, dragons, etc. I'm not going to reveal the rejected (sucky) title, but if you happen to have a Really Great Title laying around that you have no use for, please let me know. If I use it, I will send you either $10,000 or a free copy of the book and a mention in the acknowledgements (my choice). To get you started, here's a word cloud from the first two chapters:
(word cloud made at http://www.wordle.net/)