My new book, How to Steal a Car...

...including a DVD with instructions on How to Hot-Wire a Honda, will be released in 2009.  

I'm kidding about the DVD, of course, but the book is real.  How to Steal a Car will be published by Scholastic, probably with a September or October 2009 publication date.  I'm not saying too much about it at this point, except to say that it is about a fifteen-year-old girl who, well, steals cars.  I'm excited about this book--it's quite different from my other books.  But you knew that already, right?

And, since you asked (even though you probably didn't and could not care less), here's a photo of some chanterelles I found last week.  It's been a great year for chanterelles in Minnesota--I've harvested several pounds, and they were delicious--one of my three favorite mushrooms, along with porcinis and morels.  Like sweet corn and tomatoes, freshly-picked chanterelles are incomparably superior to their commercially available versions.  I'm hoping for a second fruiting later this summer.

Cooking Lesson (#1—Fresh Morels)

In response to a flood of requests (two), here is how to prepare fresh morels for the table. First, find, steal, or buy some morels.

Cut the mushrooms in half lengthwise. Evict any insects, slugs, arachnids, or other creatures. Knock off dirt. Do not rinse unless absolutely necessary.* Heat a saute pan. Add a lump of butter. When the butter is melted and bubbly, place the morels in the pan. Cook on medium heat for 2-3 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste. Turn the morels. Cook for another 2-3 minutes.** Eat straight from the pan, or arrange on slices of toast, or mix with pasta, or stir into scrambled eggs.*** That's pretty much it. Bon appetit. * Much of the flavor of fresh morels is in the hymenium, or spore-bearing surface. When you rinse the mushroom, you wash away the taste. ** If the mushrooms are somewhat dry, you can add a little water and cover the pan for part of the cooking time. If they are particularly moist, you may wish to cook them longer (uncovered) to drive off excess water. *** There are thousands of other methods for cooking and serving morels (including the morel polenta I made for dinner last night), none of which are worth the time and bother.

Oh, Leslie...

My friend Leslie and I have known each other since collaborating on the aptly named "World's Worst Comics" in the seventh grade, but this is the first time we've hunted mushrooms together.  Leslie scored three pounds of morels!

Reading? Writing? Nah, it's time for morels!

I'll have some news about upcoming books soon, but not this week. Late May is all about the 'shrooms. Here's a shot of my latest morel hunting companions, Tucker and Jack, with their harvest.

Much better...

...and when I got home...

...I discovered these delicate beauties on the windowsill keeping company with one of my tomato seedlings. My first photographically recorded mushroom of 2008. Coprinus ephemeroides (I think)

Too Many Books, Too Much Snow

There is an essay in this Sunday's New York Times Book Review worth checking out. It's about the self-publishing industry. It seems that about 400,000 new titles were published or distributed in the U.S. last year, many of them self-published. The average self-published work, according to iUniverse, sells fewer than 200 copies. I have met hundreds of authors who have self-published. A tiny handful--Vince Flynn and Steve Thayer being two examples--have parlayed their effort into successful careers. The rest have basements and garages and car trunks full of unsold books. I guess it like anything else--you takes your chances. We woke up in Minneapolis this morning to winter all over again. April 26, the ground is covered with snow, it's still snowing and blowing and it's freaking cold! A hundred or so miles north of us they are looking at 4-8 inches, with blizzard conditions. If you have never experienced blizzard conditions, it's like this: You walk out to your mailbox and never return. Those who know me well know that I am an avid mushroom hunter. I've been picking, identifying, and eating wild mushrooms since 1972, when I stumbled across a patch of Morchella esculenta. So extraterrestrial-looking; so delicious! Around this time of year I get pretty wound up--the morels will be back in a couple of weeks, to be followed by many other delectable species. I've been reading mushroom books (a.k.a. "fungiporn") at night, and I'm looking forward to the MMS (Minnesota Mycological Society) meeting on Monday. I mention this now because it is so depressing to see all this snow on the ground, I just have to remind myself that buried beneath it are quadrillions of miles of mycelia poised to send forth their fungilicious fruits. Stay tuned: There will be pictures.