After last year’s pared back celebrations, I was really looking forward to T-Day 2021. It wasn’t the usual full-bore extended family circus because we had a couple of anti-vaxxers who did not attend, and a few others who opted for smaller, safer venues. Still, there were about two dozen of us.
The food was great: Turkey, goose, duck, and a plethora of sides. For apppetizers there were stuffed mushrooms, sockeye gravlax, a beautiful cheese board, and more. I brought two crocks of rillettes—one duck and one pork, served with baguette croutons, cornichons and pickled okra. (If you don’t know what rillettes are, ask the internet.) I had planned to bring duck breast prosciutto as well, but I weighed the breasts this morning and they need to hang a few more days. We had four pies—apple, pumpkin, wild huckleberry, and wild blueberry.
I meant to take a photo of the presentation, but all I have is this preliminary stage of the rillettes:
The high point of the evening for me was the following exchange over dessert:
Cousin Tim: I have a joke.
Everybody: *groans*
(CT likes to make up his own jokes, and they are far too often racist or homophobic or otherwise offensive.)
Sister-in-Law: Tim, don’t.
CT: It’s okay.
SiL: Just don’t. Seriously.
CT: But it’s good! This guy has a pet rabbit—
SiL: Tim, stop! I’ll tell you what, let’s you and I go into the next room. You can tell me the joke, and I’ll tell you if it’s okay to tell.
CT: Really, it’s fine. This man has a rabbit that won’t wake up. He brings it to the vet. The vet examines the rabbit and says, “This rabbit is dead.” “Are you sure?” the man asks. “Maybe it’s just sleeping!” The vet whistles and a black lab trots into the room.
Me: Why is the lab black?
CT: Okay, a white lab. So the dog walks up to the rabbit and paws it and sniffs it all over. The dog snorts and leaves. The vet says, “See? Dead.” “I can’t believe it!” the man exclaims. “It was fine this morning! Are you sure?” The vet sighs and snaps his fingers. A cat comes into the room, hops up on the table, and sniffs the rabbit. The cat hisses and departs. “The rabbit is dead,” says the vet. The man sighs and says, “Okay, I guess you’re right. What do I owe you?” “Two thousand dollars,” says the vet. The man gasps. “Two thousand dollars!? To tell me I have a dead rabbit?” “Well,” says the vet, “I performed an examination, then there were lab tests, and a cat scan…”
(Moment of silence)
Everybody: *relieved laughter*
SiL: That was pretty good, Tim. I’m sorry I doubted you.
CT: I have another one.
Everybody: Nooooo!
I have a lot of rillettes left, so I’m making pierogi for the freezer. One batch filled with pork, porcini, and sauerkraut, the other stuffed with duck and potatoes.
I hope you all had a lovely holiday!
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